Chris Brown has revealed he contemplated suicide after he beat up Rihanna.
But it is unclear if he is remorseful about the damage to her face, or his career.
In
the first full-length trailer for his 'official documentary' Welcome To
My Life, the 26-year-old admitted he 'felt like a f*cking monster'
after the 2009 incident.
'Monster': Chris Brown has revealed he
considered suicide after the Rihanna incident in first trailer for his
documentary Welcome To My Life
'I
was thinking about suicide and everything,' he says in the clip. 'I
wasn't sleeping, I barely ate... I just was getting high.'
But
the singer never says that he is sorry for what he did to Rihanna;
rather he is sorry for what happened to him in the aftermath.
'Going
from being on top of the world, number one songs, being kind of like
America's sweetheart to being public enemy number one,' he laments.
Even his mother Joyce recalls how hard it was on Chris and his family.
Priorities: But the singer never says
that he is sorry for what he did to Rihanna; rather he is sorry for what
happened to him in the aftermath
'That was the worst day of my life, and probably of his life,' she says. 'I felt like I was going to lose my child.'
The
pity party for Chris begins even earlier in the trailer, when viewers
are told: 'His fame came instant... it came all at once. He grew up so
fast, he didn't really get to have a childhood or a teenage life of a
normal person.'
Brown
himself even claims his superstardom callously robbing him of his
childhood should have been a forewarning of ominous things to come.
First world problems: 'Going from
being on top of the world, number one songs, being kind of like
America's sweetheart to being public enemy number one,' he laments
Woe: The pity party for Chris begins
early in the trailer, when viewers are told: 'His fame came instant...
it came all at once. He grew up so fast, he didn't really get to have a
childhood or a teenage life of a normal person.'
'It's not really something that even myself really could comprehend at the time,' he remembers in a snippet. 'That's dangerous.'
The clip opens with fellow artists such as Usher, Jennifer Lopez and Jamie Foxx, heaping praise on Brown.
'I just remember seeing this young kid who was about to take over the world in so many ways,' Foxx recalls.
'I
realised: Oh my God, he is truly gifted... he is talented man, in a way
we haven't seen in a long, long time,' Usher continues.
Gifted: The clip opens with fellow artists such as Usher, Jennifer Lopez and Jamie Foxx, heaping praise on Brown
Happy ever after? The trailer is
interlaced with news and entertainment reports documenting Brown and
Rihanna's first getting together in a 'fairytale' romance
The
trailer is interlaced with news and entertainment reports documenting
Brown and Rihanna's first getting together in a 'fairytale' romance.
But
then the reports take a darker tone as they start to filter back
through his many brushes with the law - including the infamous assault
on his then-girlfriend.
But
again, all empathy is directed at Brown, as Usher professes: 'If you
truly do love Chris Brown, than you felt everything that has gone on
with him.'
Even
Rihanna herself can be heard making apologies for him, from an
interview she once gave to Oprah Winfrey: 'He made that mistake because
he needed help'.
Dark: But then the reports take a
darker tone as they start to filter back through his many brushes with
the law - including the infamous assault on his then-girlfriend
Blame: Even Rihanna herself can be
heard making apologies for him, from an interview she once gave to Oprah
Winfrey: 'He made that mistake because he needed help'
It
is Mike Tyson however who delivers the most sincere line in the clip:
'The more light we get, the more we have to hide that demon'
The
three-minute trailer finishes with a bizarre double-negative in which
Brown seems to accidentally suggest his career is over.
'If there was ever a doubt in your mind that Chris Brown was done, he was finished... I wouldn't bet on it,' he advises.
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